


Guilt

by Esbe



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2016-10-10
Packaged: 2018-08-20 14:36:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8252716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Esbe/pseuds/Esbe
Summary: Part of my head canon on Mycroft's character. Again this is in my Put me Together Again 'verse. But it most surely is a stand alone short.
If you are reading that in parallel you will perhaps get a better understanding of the how and why of my Mycroft and why Anthea can act this way, but if not no worries.





	

The darkness was crowding again.

Not for the first time Mycroft wished he had let John hit him before or after Sherlock’s fall. He almost had. But Anthea had stopped him, barred him from meeting John, and told him explicitly that she knew why he wanted to.

But she was wrong.

He didn’t simply want to give John an outlet. He wanted one for himself.

For his misery and his guilt. There were still times when he couldn’t bear it any more and wanted to confront John and provoke him into doing it. But he couldn’t do it anymore. John was healing. And he would be the last person who would scratch over the scabs. Like so many of her sisters, that opportunity too had passed by him unheeded.

Sherlock needed John safe (and sane) and he had made one request— _Look out for him_. If only the two weren’t mutually exclusive. His thoughts alighted on Adler.

He wondered, whimsically, if her clients were people like him. Beating themselves up because they didn’t feel they deserved what they had in their lives. He had never had the urge before. Guilt had never featured in any aspect of his job or any of his personal relationships. He had never even felt guilty for Sherlock’s ‘troubles’. Did he feel responsible for his brother's safety? Yes. Did he feel guilty for his brother’s transgressions? No.

Yet now he couldn’t shake the feeling.

It hadn’t happened after the first night. That was strange. If indeed, his guilt had been brought because of his… liaison with John Watson, then shouldn't he have felt guilty after the first time?

Why was he feeling this way tonight?

**Author's Note:**

> Part of my head canon on Mycroft's character. Again this is in my Put me Together Again 'verse. But it most surely is a stand alone short.
> 
> If you are reading that in parallel you will perhaps get a better understanding of the how and why of my Mycroft and why Anthea can act this way, but if not no worries.


End file.
